On complexities and entanglements

I had originally put up a post about our kids life-learning highlights, but had a change of heart and took it private. I guess I’m not ready to share too much about that part of our lives yet. Instead, here’s a funny dialogue from today.

Tig: I love mama because she’s a wonderful person and she makes me happy.

V: {pause} Is that true?

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I love that picture of us on the bow, as we were headed back to the U.S. a year-and-a-half ago. I’m not sure what was going through my head as I looked out, perhaps I was pensive about our future.

The reason why I bring it up is because yesterday–for the first time in a long time–I had a powerful urge to get on our sailboat and leave land life, with its infinite complexities and entanglements behind. Maybe it was the rogue snowstorm and ensuing power outage that showed us how utterly dependent we were on electricity. (We had everything we needed on Wildie¬†including 90 gallon water tanks, solar panels, and a diesel engine that acted as a generator.)¬† Maybe it was the never ending renovations that sucked up all of Tig’s spare time, not to mention our spare money. But at that moment, owning a fixer upper seemed like the dumbest most expensive thing we could’ve done. And then I remembered we wanted to live in a walkable town. And we wanted a garden…and chickens…and bees. At least V does. Try as I might, I can’t figure out how to fit a chicken coop and some beehives onto our little sailboat.

What I miss most about cruising is being a full-time family. Before that, I worked outside the home and now, Tig does. For one year, we were living together all day everyday. It wasn’t easy. But it was both a tremendous privilege and also a choice. And though we got flak from our families, I’m pretty certain that at the end of our lives, Tig and I would never wish that we had worked that year instead of spending it with our children.

Which is all a long-winded way of saying I’m glad we did it. Now we’re making the choice to invest in our home and community here. And yes, these choices include big trade-off and opportunity costs. But sometimes I still want to cut the dock lines and sail away again. Because once you’ve tasted freedom, it’s hard to go back.

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